January 1, 2012
This is weird. Very weird. They thought I was weird, but no, I'm telling you, this is weirder! What's it been...three and a half years since I started seeing Dr. Hoover, and didn't make much progress? In fact, I made negative progress for a while there. Mom and dad even put me in a weird private school when it came time to switch from junior high to high school (mostly on mom's insistence) because they didn't want me to "ruin my chances at finding normal friends." That seemed a little harsh at the time, and I resented them a little for it, but now I totally see what they meant!
Looking back it's like watching someone else live life through my body. How I ever saw the world like I did is beyond me. Yes, it still seems a bit off balance, but there are so many beautiful, perfect parts of it that are exactly balanced! If that makes sense at all. Last night I was at my family's new year's party and right after midnight my head started to spin a little bit and then for the first time since I could remember I felt very peaceful. I was in the backyard and the moon was full, and as I looked up at it through the fireworks, nothing felt crooked anymore. Before it bothered me almost to the point that it made my skin crawl, but instead of rising to a climax like it had felt like it was doing, it was now gone, as if I had slid to the bottom of the OCD meter. This is fantastic! I love it! Four hundred and seventy-three entries later, it looks like I won't have to be keeping this log anymore!
Celeste
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